The Reality of After Birth

Hey guys!

No one really talks or prepares you for the changes that happen after birth. Personally, I feel like there were so preparations for birth and the arrival of my newborn that I had kind of forgotten about the aftermath of it all so I thought I would write a blogpost of my experience. I absolutely love being a mother and it’s the best feeling in the world to see your child develop and grow. Any parent can tell you that! So I thought I’d write about the challenges that I faced adjusting to motherhood. This is quite a personal post, so I do hope you enjoy the read!

What People Forgot To Mention About After Birth:

  1. Blood, blood and more blood – If you think you’ve escaped the copious amounts of blood from labour; you’re sadly mistaken. Straight after birth, I found myself bleeding bucket loads. And that is NO exaggeration. I knew that there would be bleeding for some weeks after labour, but I didn’t realise the amount that actually comes out. In general, after giving birth; you’re suppose to wear maternity pad – that’s just how it is. But I found myself wanting to wear an actual adult nappy… Or several. There was an incident where I was sitting down in the delivery suite for about 30 mins or so, and as I stood up; blood literally just gushed out of me. There was blood all over the seat and dripping out of me incredibly fast as I ran to the toilet. It was honestly horrific for both me and my boyfriend to witness. I can’t tell you the embarrassment I felt when the cleaner or nurse came in and just saw the hospital seat covered in blood as well as a nice pool on the floor.
  2. Painful pee – This was the one thing that I was NOT prepared for in the slightest. Have you ever had a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection)? If you have, that’s exactly how it feels like. It lasted for nearly 3 weeks that I started to question whether or not this was just an untreated UTI. I dreaded going to the toilet (not that I went that often for the first week or so… probably twice a day). Peeing stung so bad and only a little amount would come out. It was horrible. Absolutely horrible. To lessen the pain, I used to bring both of my legs straightened up in front of me and clench both my toes and hands. And even that didn’t help. Because your insides are very displaced (not exactly surprising, since your baby’s taking up every bit of space), your bodily functions are a little bit displaced as well. Like the bleeding, it doesn’t last forever. And that’s what you have to keep telling yourself, when you leak aggressively through another pad or you feel like your pee hole is on fire.
  3. It just all bloody well hurts – Well it’s obviously no surprise that it’s going to be quite painful for a while but I didn’t realise how much. I could barely walk for the first week. Simple day to day tasks were very hard to do. Things like bending down was a no no. To be honest, it didn’t last that long so you know it wasn’t TOO bad. Obviously at the time, I thought it was the end of me and things weren’t going to get better (dramatic much?) but you know… It does and you keep on living.
  4. What is eating? – Personally, in between looking after a newborn and going by the rule: ‘When your newborn is asleep, you should sleep’, I had no time to eat throughout the day. I lived on snacks my mum or boyfriend came back from work.
  5. Breastfeeding is HARD – Unfortunately, I wasn’t one of the lucky ones who found breastfeeding very easy. When I was pregnant, I thought breastfeeding would come SO naturally and I regret not doing my research beforehand. Breastfeeding IS a skill and it does take patience and determination. There were SO many problems I had with breastfeeding and for the first month I hated it. My 8lbs baby was a HUNGRY baby, who wanted to feed on the hour every hour. It was mentally and physically exhausting for me but that’s a whole different blogpost! Bottom line is, you should do a lot of research into breastfeeding before you give birth if you plan to breastfeed because it will help you a hell of a lot. And if you don’t end up breastfeeding, it isn’t the end of the world and you honestly shouldn’t force yourself to keep on if you’re suffering so much in the process.

There were SO many changes after Tyler was born, I was very much overwhelmed with it all. The ones mentioned are just a few of the temporary changes that I experienced. There are so many changes, that up till now I’m still having to deal with. I didn’t really feel like myself for quite some time, and the transition from carrying Tyler internally to having Tyler physically there was the hardest time of my life. Having a newborn is hard, especially being a first time mum. I know a lot of mums from the get go, want to be with their babies all the time and are completely besotted with them (not that I’m not) but honestly… for the first few weeks, I just wanted to sleep. Sleep. Sleep. And Sleep. It definitely puts a mental strain on you. It’s very easy to get baby blues for the first few weeks. It’s so important to have a good support system. I’m definitely thankful for mine. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t get baby blues or struggle. I cried like a bitch for so long till I grabbed two grips and kept it moving. I thought I was doing everything wrong, from breastfeeding to carrying him. I didn’t think I had maternal instincts but I definitely am learning and growing with Tyler. And it does take time. As long as you have people around you supporting you and you take it one day at a time, everything will be okay.

Fei xoxo

 

 

Water Birth Experience, YAY or NAY!?

Hey guys,

It has been such a long time since I’ve posted anything! Motherhood has been a huge adjustment and tbh, I haven’t found any sort of motivation to get back into writing again… BUT thankfully I’m back into the swing of things!

I’ve had a lot of people ask me about my birthing experience and so I thought I would do a blogpost on it! I hope you enjoy reading it and hopefully now that I have some sort of routine I can start regularly blogging again!


My Labour/Birth Experience

For a month, I had contemplated starting to write this blogpost but I genuinely didn’t know where to start. 2 months on (nearly 3, damn) and I still don’t know where to start *cries*

First and foremost, labour is the most painful thing that I’ve experienced/think I will experience. You really don’t know what you’re in for until you’re going through it. And boy oh boy, I didn’t think labour was EVER gonna end. When people ask me what contractions feel like, the only way I can really explain it is by comparing it to the most painful period pain… and multiplying that by 100. Seriously.

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First Stages of Labour

I was 40 weeks + 1 day pregnant (slightly over baked) when I started getting contractions and then the next day I gave birth. My first thought was “Shit. I’m actually gonna have to push this baby out.. Shit shit shit.” I remember sitting on the toilet, FaceTiming one of my girls explaining this ordeal I was in. 4 hours into the contractions, I had decided that maybe it was time to go to the hospital to get checked out. I had been umm-ing and ahh-ing about going because my water hadn’t broken and I hadn’t gotten any of the other signs they tell you on the internet that labour was imminent- just contractions. I put it off for as long as I could until my boyfriend said “Yeah, maybe we should to the hospital..”. I didn’t realise that your water could break at any time during labour. Mine had broken whilst I was in the water! Once I had reached the hospital, I was only 2cm dilated so I had to go back home. I didn’t realise how PAINFUL car rides were when you’re in labour. Being stuck to a car seat and not being able to get into a more comfortable position was absolute TORTURE. Once I had reached my house from the hospital, that’s when the contractions were coming in fast and hard. From about 1pm – 11pm (until I finally decided to go back to the hospital), it was an absolute nightmare. I was trying to go into many different positions to try and ease the pain and nothing was working. Every contraction I could feel, I dreaded. By the time I got to the hospital, I was in unbearable pain and I was ready for this baby to come out. When we had gotten to the Triage Unit, it was one of the most awkwardest few hours of my life. The Triage Unit were for expectant mothers (ranging from 1 month – 10 months pregnant) who were there for a range of problems or appointments. And here I was; coming at 11pm to the hospital, shouting and screaming with every contraction whilst the hospital itself was so quiet. I was waiting in the Waiting Area with expectant mothers who weren’t in labour, for what seemed like hours. And honestly, I had lost all form of manner and decorum during this time. Women who were waiting there would look at me horrified or sympathetically as I screamed in pain for 40-50 odd seconds at a time. I didn’t care at all. My screams were coming loud and hard. Can you imagine being like 6 months pregnant and watching another woman go through each contraction? Nah, that would scar me forever.. I’d actually tell my baby not to come out.  Thankfully, when a midwife finally checked how many cm I was dilated I heard the words “You’re 7cm dilated, we can take you to the delivery suite now.” So off I went, being wheeled in a wheelchair to the delivery suite (yay).

WATER BIRTH (Active Labour)

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Having a water birth was not what I had expected. When I went to the antenatal classes, the midwives were selling me dreams telling me that in terms of pain relief; water was second to having an epidural. I even watched so many Instagram videos on water births, and all these mothers were having calm spiritual experiences. So there I was thinking, the water would have some miracle effect during labour. I’d be breathing in and out and in control. Well nah, sorry to say that wasn’t the case. If anything – the warm water was more of a comfort rather than a pain relief. I was in excruciating pain for 20 hours trying to get in all sorts of weird positions in the water bath. My legs were wide open, all over the place and I just remember thinking “Fuck, I don’t think I’m ever going to get this baby out. Jesus should take me now.”

As a woman, I thought I wouldn’t be comfortable having everything out especially because I couldn’t fit in a cheeky wax before labour (looool) but I honestly didn’t give a shit. When you’re in so much pain, you genuinely forget everyone and everything in the room. You’re too busy trying to control the pain. I couldn’t even tell you what I looked like to everyone else in the room. There was just soooo much blood. Very, very unattractive to say the least! Looking back, I remember going in and out of sleep in the tub. It was so exhausting so I took little naps in between contractions.

The most painful part was definitely his head coming out. Oh damn. Such a big head he has. I honestly know no pain like it. His head coming out had to be done in stages and every time a bit of his head would come out, a little would go back in. So it was like riding a bike up a hill and stopping for a bit (in which you regress a little) and then continuing to ride your bike and stopping again and regressing a little (don’t know why I even used that analogy since I can’t even ride a bike l o l). I literally had two midwives holding each of my legs apart whilst I pushed his big ‘ol head out. When people ask me what it felt like, I can honestly say it felt like a hot rod was being shoved up my vagina (yeah I know, tmi.. sorry). After his head had come out, the rest of his body more or less came out with another push or two and at 6:15am on the 1st December 2016, my little Tyler was born. Even reminiscing back, I remember the sheer relief and joy I had knowing that he was safely brought into this world and he was finally here, on my chest.

After that, all that were left were the cutting of the cord and giving birth to the placenta. My boyfriend had cut the cord in one snip (which he was so pleased about since the midwife said that the cord may be a little be tricky to cut lool) and I had an injection to the leg so that the placenta would ease out. This stage of this labour was the easiest but most gruesome bit. I sat in my own pool of diluted blood just chilling.

After Birth

I’m so thankful to God that my birth was so smooth, I could of had it way worse than I did regardless of the amount of pain that came with it.

The last part was just checking that Tyler was healthy and to check for any tearing that I may have.  I was so scared that I had torn my perineum since it’s quite common and when the midwife ran her fingers around my vagina, I wanted to cry. It stung so bloody bad. But thankfully, I was left with no tears. It was all a sigh of relief that everything was over and here I am nearly 3 months on and my little munchkin has given me so much joy and happiness, that all the pain seemed so worth it.

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Stretch marks… YAY OR NAY!? ft. Neal’s Yard Remedies Products

Hi dolls!

So this is my first blog post and I thought I would make it quite a personal one. I’ve very recently hit the 9 months mark in my pregnancy (woohoo) and thank God, I’m happy to say that I’ve had quite a smooth ride. However, approaching nine months; a combination of tiredness and insomnia alongside the aches and pains has really hit me (i know, such a common thing – why am I complaining?). Ngl, I do feel like the days are starting to drag and I’m just impatiently waiting for the little bubba to make his appearance!

Another thing that I’ve developed over the past few weeks are stretch marks. I’ve never had stretch marks until now and when I had started to notice them, a slight bit of panic had overcome me. They were red, fresh and itchy and to be quite frank.. quite irritating. It was only until my 7th month did my bump become noticeable and I had used Bio-Oil religiously on my tummy to try and prevent them (& no, bio-oil doesn’t prevent stretch marks). Prior to the pregnancy, I had never really cared about stretch marks simply because I’ve never had them. I had always wondered why people were so self conscious of them but it was only when I started to get them quite red and raw it started to really bother me. This was a few weeks ago, so fast forward to now – I have completely different feelings about them!

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9th month tummy!

The one thing that I’ve learnt, is that no amount of moisturiser/oil/remedy will prevent you from getting stretch marks. Many people get them, both men and women.. and if anything; they add a sense of uniqueness to the skin. I have really grown to love my stretch marks! It will always remind me of this incredible journey that I’m experiencing. It’s not the aesthetics that bother now but rather how pink and itchy they can get.

Because of the aches and pains and the itchy stretch marks, I’ve used a range of products to see what works well for me. Here are two products that I’ve really grown to love!

Neal’s Yard Remedies Products:

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Mother’s Balm & Mother’s Massage Oil 

Mother’s Balm, £20

I have really grown to love this product for the tummy area! It’s fragrance free and because it’s a balm rather than a lotion, it’s a lot more nourishing. If I put it on during the night, the moisture and softness will last till the next day. It also contains beeswax and natural oils from apricots, coconuts, almonds and macadamias which are said to soften and soothe the skin and is 100% organic. For me, this is such an ideal product – very easy to use and non greasy. When first applied, it takes a little bit of warmth to warm up the product. Initially, there’s a slight gritty feel which quickly dissolves. Although I don’t believe that it would necessarily prevent stretch marks, the product itself softens my skin enough to keep it supple and not itchy. Win, win!

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Mother’s Massage Oil, £19.50

Another fragrance free product and 100% organic! I really do love this product for back massages. This product is said to be infused with soothing orange flower and mandarin essential oils as well as vitamin E-rich wheatgerm oil which are very very nourishing for the skin.  Thanks to my partner and this product, I’ve really benefited from massages. I’m so sensitive to really fragrant oils – I find them quite sickly, but I feel that because this doesn’t have a smell I can really relax without a pungent smell. The substance itself, like the Mother’s balm is non greasy and it isn’t thick at all so when applied it doesn’t leave an uncomfortable feel.

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I will definitely continue to use both products after the pregnancy!

What products would you recommend for the skin for during/after pregnancy? What skin products would you recommend in general for the skin during autumn/winter?

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my first post!

Fei xoxo